The Journey from Pontiac Aztec to Lambo doesn’t have to be Long; Welcome, to the tale of the shitcoin soldier!

Some people walk, other run, but only a few, only a select group of elite, they FLY! They avoid all the drama, all the wait and the agony of investing on cryptocurrencies that have already peaked. Life is all about cutting corners, pain is only a choice. The shitcoin soldier is ahead, simply because he knows the Fried Chicken blockchain network and their native token FRCN holds the brightest future of them all.

Shitcoin Soldier, A Gallant Journey

Despite the fact that he knows a very specific secret, his kind heart wouldn’t let the shitcoin soldier to hide the key to success. Hence, the outspoken nature of his twitter account comes to light as his dedicated tweets fill your feed. As soon as you feast your eyes upon the bio of his account, you see the name of the target shitcoin. Then the keywords describing his or her (we don’t discriminate here) life are followed. Contradictory as all hell, phrases describing ideological orientation, specific gender qualities and dietary needs are there to introduce this witty soul. A big fish in a small pond.

Getting past the bio, his tweets and replies all indicate dedication and faith. The shitcoin soldier is an apostle of the shitcoin creed. Soon to be rewarded by a Lambo in the future, they spread the good word of money. The soldado knows that one day, the promised pump shall commence. The bulls will run down all the Conspiracy Boomers and previous skeptics. The Shitcoin Army will ride those 600% profit statistics triumphantly.

Drop Becomes the Ocean, Soldiers Become an Army

They always find each other, they stick to the plan and develop a hierarchical structure. They join the community on public pages and celebrate their ingenious decisions. However, one must tread lightly approaching their sect. The Shitcoin army has eyes and ears everywhere, they read all tweets about their beloved shitcoin. To summon the devotees, all you need to do is name their coin in your tweet using a hashtag. A few moments later, their judgement shall fall upon your statement.

At that point, may god help you if your opinion stands opposed to theirs (talking from personal experience). Their wrathful and furious tagging of their friends beneath your tweet will surely let you know of their collective strength.

However, much like a double-edged sword, they do have a soft side. Compliment their shitcoin and the embrace of this high IQ community will keep you warm in the cold days of bearish market.

The Irony

Known as the black sheep of the crypto community, the fate of their investments tend to be doomed from the beginning. Taking part in ICOs, pump and dump events and falling prey to massive OTC deals, can seriously damage their investments. But, and there is always a but, sometimes they make it.

Not all the time but sometimes, they Shitcoin soldiers find a tech guru that backs their shitcoin, *cough* Elon *cough*, be it for the meme or money laundering.

On these rare events, one fully comprehends the perplexity of the financial markets and the endless possibilities that are missed. After all, a hamster’s portfolio had more profit than the S&P 500 IN 2021.

Perhaps sanity fails us sometimes, perhaps the financial adventures sometimes reward the unsane. Taking a look at the cryptocurrencies, there are more than a handful of shitcoins that skyrocketed in a very short-time.

And with that existential crisis in mind, and the storming of critical thoughts in our heads, I bid you adieu.


The following story is not directly calling out on any specific individual. Even though it might sound like someone you know, it is only a light-hearted (hopefully) comedic story intended for entertainment purposes. Every Investor must do adequate research to determine whether a specific cryptocurrency is a shitcoin or not. We do not intend to make fun of any person for their investment decisions or use derogatory terms to describe them. This is all comedy.

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