The crypto philosopher is the broad thinker, the seeker of knowledge outside the bounds of being and time. Fascinated with the big picture, he makes observations and hastily shares his precious thoughts with others. These luminary figures are mostly found in podcast episodes and are seldom bullish on every single thing ever. Welcome, to the tale of the Crypto Philosopher.

Thus Spoke Crypto Philosopher

You know how the capitalism serves a hegemony that robs the people of their wealth? Crypto fixes that. Also, you know how communism fails to deliver any promise ever? Crypto fixes that. The crypto philosopher would tell you how everything is about to change as governments lose control.

He will enchant everyone with allegories, analogies and metaphors to share his excitement of the coming of a new era. Deep in his heart, this intellectual gem faithfully believes that crypto can solve the energy crisis, the water crisis, the climate crisis and defeat every possible challenge.

Grand Theft Auto 6 taking too long to release? You guessed it, crypto can fix that.

In terms of political affiliation, the philosopher community is libertarian. Meaning that pumps and dumps and rug pulls are just happy little accidents. There should be no regulations on anything simply because “free market bro!”.

Fight the Power

The revolution has begun; the governments will lose all their power to the people as the age of equity begins. Cryptocurrencies will lead the way to fight the hierarchical structures of old with unmatched liberty.

The crypto philosopher is not far from the Bitcoin Maximalist. They both fight against Fiat currencies and absolutely hate central banks. The goal is to achieve as much freedom as possible like the Spanish civil war days.

Surprising to no one, their favorite marketing format is podcast because their wealth of knowledge cannot be contained in limited form. And so, these thinkers bless the audience with 5-hour long episodes of discourse about the sweet downfall of all political structures.

At the end of the day, the libertarian vision will come through as the bourgeoisie admit defeat. The crypto philosopher believes in this. There will be no authority, no taxes and no injustice, dictatorship will vanish from the face of the earth and all resources shall be redistributed equally among people. There will be no more homelessness as everyone makes easy passive income from cryptocurrencies.

And that, is a vision to fight for.


The following story is not directly calling out on any specific individual. Even though it might sound like someone you know, it is only a light-hearted (hopefully) comedic story intended for entertainment purposes. Investors need to be careful about taking financial advice from others. We do not intend to make fun of any person for their investment decisions or use derogatory terms to describe them. This is all comedy.


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